I'm Spent

I thought drinking was like riding a bike?

May not sound like something to brag about, but I could have a drink or 2 (or 3,4,5...) and communicate with the best of them. Now, 19 months and 1 and a half glasses of wine later, I seem to need a helmet AND knee pads to ride this bike! Why? I'm bigger than BC (before connor) and it wasn't even 2 FULL GLASSES!

I'm gonna write a book. It's gonna be called 'what to expect when your no longer pregnant!'. Here are my chapters (just to name a few):

1. Breastfeeding; what nursing advocates won't tell you (how to calculate your pain tolerance)

2. Nursing Bras; don't bother, there are NO cute ones.

3. Midol, while it is approved by the all mighty board of breastfeeding approval peeps, it doesn't work on the sh*%%y a$$ cramps you WILL experience after delivering.

4. Darvocet doesn't work either so get your hot pad out and tape it to your back.

5. A complete list of Costco locations to buy economy packs of super sized tampons (sorry male readers)

6. Pregnant with your second already? You must have had 2 FULL glasses of wine!

So these are just a few topics I could elaborate on with women who are considering or already are pregnant with their first. And don't start leaving me comments or thinking I blame Connor for any of this...she was and is well worth every chapter!